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用這些方法可以治療拖延癥

Renita Kalhorn
2017-08-26

哪怕是那些最成功的人,他們也會面臨同樣的煩惱。他們只是知道如何戰(zhàn)勝自己的內(nèi)心。

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你是否曾有哪天醒來后對自己說:“今天就讓我心安理得地當一天廢物吧!沒啥要緊事我就渾渾噩噩地混到下班,翻翻電子郵件,累了就刷刷朋友圈?!?/p>

你當然不會這樣做。我們都知道,要想成功就要做那些重要的事——比如戰(zhàn)略規(guī)劃、做報表、打電話拜訪那家你想談下來的“財富500強”公司等等,這些才是對企業(yè)增長真正重要的事。但很多時候,我們把這些重要的事拖著不辦,有時還理直氣壯地為自己開脫,找些“我需要很多時間來思考”或者“我需要進入正確的情緒”等等。我們?yōu)槭裁磿@樣做呢?

因為這就是人的本性。

首先,如果某些任務需要我們在認知上投入大量精力,我們就會自然而然地排斥這些工作。比如如果你要寫一份給投資者的演示文稿,這需要大量深度的戰(zhàn)略思考,而我們的大腦天然就排斥這種疲勞的任務。

作為人類,我們天然就對可能給我們帶來負面情緒的事物感到反感。比如某個任務需要我們先審視一下自己的財務狀況,我們只要一看到自己少得可憐的存款,就會感到恐慌,并且擔心自己能不能撐到下個月發(fā)工資的時候。如果某個任務將決定你能否得到下一份工作,我們就會擔心將任務搞砸(就像上一次一樣)?;蛘呷绻覀儚膬?nèi)心就討厭某個任務——比如打銷售電話,我們就會覺得自己無法勝任或能力不夠,并且在內(nèi)心里希望別人不會發(fā)現(xiàn)這一點。

不過值得安慰的是,哪怕是那些最成功的人,他們也會面臨同樣的煩惱。他們只是知道如何戰(zhàn)勝自己的內(nèi)心。通過以下五種方法,你也可以加入到他們之中。

一、打破心理惰性。

第一步是承認自己的心理惰性。研究表明,很多人之所以將重要的任務拖著不辦,是因為他們覺得自己現(xiàn)在的狀態(tài)不好,等以后狀態(tài)好了再說。不過實際上,沒人能保證你以后的狀態(tài)好不好。所以你要打破這種心理惰性,直接開始著手干。惰性更像一堵墻,而不是一片山坡,只要你打破了它,后面的事情就順利多了。

二、找準阻力點。

如果你對某件事有嚴重的拖延癥,那么它讓你有逆反心理的往往只是一個方面,而不是這件事整體。這才是讓你產(chǎn)生拖延心理的原因。你可以問問自己:“我害怕的到底是什么?”(寫到紙上則更好。)比如你害怕的可能不是寫投資人演示文稿本身,而是嫌收集數(shù)據(jù)太麻煩,或是一想起以前被投資人拒絕的經(jīng)歷就渾身難受,潛意識里害怕再被拒絕一次。另外你可能挺喜歡與潛在戰(zhàn)略伙伴拉關(guān)系的,只是討厭打銷售電話的那一刻。

一旦你認識到了自己卡在哪個地方,你的情緒就不至于影響你對整件事的態(tài)度,這樣你就可以制定一個專門的計劃去攻克這一障礙(比如你可以請一位導師跟你演練一下怎樣打一個重要的銷售電話)。

三、把時間當成一種工具。

就算真的給了你“許多思考的時間”,你該拖延還是會拖延的。你要記住,如果你不知道你做一件時間的時限是多久,那你就會更難開始去做這件事。所以如果你要做某件事的話,你要自己給它加一個期限——比如15分鐘。這樣你的大腦就會自動化解拖延的傾向,因為它發(fā)現(xiàn)你的逆反心理是有期限的。

四、先設定一個小目標。當你的車子拋了錨,需要自己來推時,你一開始的目標肯定只是先推動幾寸,而不是一上來就推十幾米,對吧?同理,所有的大事都不能一蹴而就。你可以先設置一個小目標,一個小到不會讓你產(chǎn)生逆反心理的目標。比如先打開一個空白文檔,寫上一句話;或是在一張餐巾紙上寫下文章的要點。很多年前,當我剛加入一家醫(yī)療保險公司公司時,當時的我沒有銷售經(jīng)驗,又害怕打銷售電話。而我記得幾個打過去也不會有人接的電話號碼,所以我打了過去進行“練膽”,就這樣,我就完成了先留三段語音信箱的“小目標”。

前美國海豚突擊隊軍官、企業(yè)家馬克?迪萬曾指出:“當我們把注意力集中在一個個小目標上,我們就會實現(xiàn)一個個小勝,這些小勝迅速積累起來,就會催生出干勁,使人覺得‘我能’,而不是‘我不能’或‘我不想’?!?/p>

五、中間暫停一下。

對于較大的、持續(xù)時間較長的項目,哪怕是在中場休息時,也要保持一定的沖勁。比如美國作家海明威有一個小竅門:“在你寫得不錯而且知道下一步要發(fā)生什么的時候停下來。”這樣一來,你知道了下一步應該干什么,而且接下來繼續(xù)做干時也會容易一些?!?/p>

有些事情是非做不可的,拖延不是出路。要想克服拖延癥,去做那些艱難而重要的工作,歸根結(jié)底在于調(diào)整自己的心態(tài)。優(yōu)秀企業(yè)家克服拖延癥的秘訣就是他們知道抗拒和拖延比采取行動更痛苦。他們知道,一旦著手去做一件大事,就能獲得極大的成就感。由此形成的良性循環(huán),也使他們能更容易地做成其他看似很難的事情。(財富中文網(wǎng))

本文作者Renita Kalhorn是一名領(lǐng)導力開發(fā)導師,也負責為美國海豹突擊隊提供精神力培訓輔導。

譯者:賈政景

Do you ever wake up in the morning and say, “Today, I am going to spend the day in reactive mode -- running around putting out fires, constantly checking email and wasting time on Facebook when I get really stressed."

Of course not. We all know it’s important to do the important things — strategic planning, understanding our numbers, calling that potential Fortune 500 partner — that are critical to the growth of the company. And yet we often find ourselves putting them off, rationalizing that we need “a big chunk of time to focus” or "to be in the right mood.” Why do we do that?

Welcome to human nature.

For one, we put off tasks if they're cognitively-demanding. Creating a new investor presentation, for example, requires deep, strategic thinking that our brain is fundamentally wired to avoid.

As humans, we also resist anything that hints of emotional discomfort. If the task requires looking at our financials, we feel a sense of panic when we see our run rate (and wonder if we can make next month’s payroll); if it’s deciding the next key hire, we’re afraid of screwing up (like we did last time); or, if it's something we don't inherently enjoy, like sales calls, we feel incompetent or inadequate (and hope nobody finds out).

If it’s any consolation, the most successful, accomplished people face this struggle too. They just know how to master their psychology and win. Here’s a five-step process so you can join them.

Step 1: Break through the psychological inertia. The first step is to simply accept the mental resistance. Research has shown that people tend to delay tasks because they feel they aren’t in the right mood and believe they’ll be in the right mood later. There’s no guarantee that will happen. Break through and just start. Fortunately, inertia is more like a wall than a steep grade — once you break through, momentum takes over.

Step 2: Pinpoint the resistance. If you’re procrastinating, keep in mind it’s often just one particular aspect, not the entire task, that's creating resistance. Ask yourself: "What exactly am I dreading?” (Even better, write it down). For example, it may not be putting together the investor presentation itself that you’re avoiding but the hassle involved in gathering accurate data, or the memories of past rejection. You might generally enjoy connecting with potential strategic partners, just not the actual moment of requesting a commitment.

Identifying the precise point of resistance prevents emotion from coloring your whole attitude so you can come up with a specific action to work through the block (e.g. asking a mentor to role-play a big sales ask).

Step 3: Use time as a tool. If that mythical “big chunk of time to focus” does ever materialize, it often creates such pressure that you still end up procrastinating. It's important to remember that it’s harder to start something when you don’t know how long you’re going to be doing it. So, put a limit on how long you ’ re going to be doing something — 15 minutes, say. Your mind will relax its resistance because it can see a limit to the perceived discomfort.

Step 4: Set micro-goals. When you’re pushing a stalled car, you aim to move it a few inches at first, not six feet, right? Likewise, no project is a monolithic action that you do in one giant, fell swoop. Start with a micro-goal, one so incremental that it creates no resistance. Open up a Google doc and write one sentence, for example, or bullet point a rough outline on a napkin. Years ago, when I joined a health insurance startup to gain sales experience, I found I could jump - start my dreaded bi-weekly lead and cold - calling sessions and get into the groove by dialing two or three numbers that I knew from past experience no one would answer. Micro-goal: leave three voicemails. Check!

F ormer SEAL Commander and entrepreneur Mark Divine says, “When we set our sights on micro-goals, we achieve micro-wins, which quickly stack up and develop a sense of momentum and ‘can-do’ instead of ‘can’t – won’t.’ That’s because micro-goals leverage our biology. When our brain perceives that we’ve ‘done’ something, it produces serotonin—the body’s ‘feel-good chemical’ – creating a sense of calmness and satisfaction that builds our confidence and motivates us to take on the next task.

Step 5: Stop in the middle. For large, ongoing tasks, the trick is to create a sense of momentum even when you stop. Once you’v e established traction, steal a tip from Ernest Hemingway, who used to stop writing in the middle of a sentence: “Stop when you are going good and when you know what will happen next.” Knowing exactly what your next action is minimizes inertia and makes it easier to pick up where you left off.

There’s no getting around it: Doing the hard, important work comes down to managing your psychology. The secret that high-performing entrepreneurs know is that resistance and avoidance are more painful than actually taking action. They know that knocking that big task off their to-do list produces a disproportionate sense of satisfaction — which then creates a virtuous cycle that makes it easier to tackle other seemingly hard projects .

– Renita Kalhorn is a leadership development coach and a mental training mentor with Navy SEALs RDAC.

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