????六月底，當(dāng)《今日秀》（Today Show）主持人馬特?勞爾與通用汽車(chē)（General Motors）CEO瑪麗?巴拉坐在一起的時(shí)候，他向這家汽車(chē)公司的第一位女性領(lǐng)導(dǎo)人提出了下列問(wèn)題：

????“你在不久前的一次采訪中說(shuō)到，你的孩子們說(shuō)他們要讓你對(duì)一項(xiàng)工作負(fù)起責(zé)任，那就是做一個(gè)好媽媽。鑒于你在通用汽車(chē)面臨如此巨大的壓力，你能否同時(shí)做好這兩份工作？”

????巴拉彬彬有禮地回答了這個(gè)問(wèn)題。她告訴勞爾，她有一支了不起的團(tuán)隊(duì)，有一個(gè)美滿(mǎn)的家庭，還有一位全力支持她的丈夫。值得注意的是，她并沒(méi)有把這個(gè)問(wèn)題拋給勞爾，反問(wèn)他是如何應(yīng)對(duì)NBC（美國(guó)國(guó)家廣播公司）苛刻的工作安排，同時(shí)還能做一個(gè)稱(chēng)職的父親。

????男性高管幾乎從未聽(tīng)到過(guò)這個(gè)問(wèn)題。MongoDB公司剛剛離職的CEO馬克斯?希雷森可以證實(shí)這一點(diǎn)。

????這位數(shù)據(jù)庫(kù)公司的負(fù)責(zé)人對(duì)如何兼顧父親和公司經(jīng)營(yíng)者這兩個(gè)角色，進(jìn)行了仔細(xì)斟酌，最終在周二決定辭職。

????希雷森在一篇博客中解釋了他辭職的原因。他寫(xiě)道：“作為一名男性CEO，有人曾問(wèn)過(guò)我開(kāi)什么樣的汽車(chē)，喜歡什么樣的音樂(lè)，但從來(lái)沒(méi)有人問(wèn)我如何平衡父親和CEO這兩個(gè)角色。”

????女性依舊是“兩全其美”爭(zhēng)論的焦點(diǎn)——她們能否既在高層職位上取得成功，又能做好賢妻良母？如今，她們的男性同行們也開(kāi)始問(wèn)自己同樣的問(wèn)題。

????在希雷森的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)下，這家數(shù)據(jù)庫(kù)公司已經(jīng)發(fā)展到數(shù)十億美元的規(guī)模。今年，希雷森的CEO商務(wù)出行，以及從位于加州帕洛阿爾托的家到公司位于紐約辦公室之間的通勤距離，加起來(lái)接近300,000英里的飛行距離。

????而在路上耗費(fèi)的大量時(shí)間，也是他和家人以及三個(gè)孩子分離的時(shí)間。

????“在出差的過(guò)程中，我錯(cuò)過(guò)了許多家庭樂(lè)趣，更重要的是，當(dāng)我們家的寵物狗發(fā)生車(chē)禍的時(shí)候，或者當(dāng)我兒子做急診手術(shù)（意外的小手術(shù)，非常成功）的時(shí)候，我都沒(méi)能陪在孩子們身邊?！?/p>

????他表示，他不在家人身邊的時(shí)候，是妻子分擔(dān)了他的責(zé)任。這項(xiàng)任務(wù)并不輕松，因?yàn)樽鳛橐晃会t(yī)生兼斯坦福大學(xué)（Stanford University）教授，她同樣面臨巨大壓力。

????希雷森寫(xiě)道：“朋友和同事經(jīng)常問(wèn)我妻子，她如何平衡自己的工作和母親的責(zé)任。但從來(lái)沒(méi)有人問(wèn)過(guò)我這樣的問(wèn)題?！?/p>

????這樣的問(wèn)題一直困擾著女性，她們也開(kāi)始公開(kāi)談?wù)摴ぷ骱图彝サ膬r(jià)值。謝麗爾?桑德伯格鼓勵(lì)女性“向前一步”（lean in）。全國(guó)性雜志的封面文章也深入探討了如何在母親和職業(yè)女性之間做出正確的選擇，更不用說(shuō)無(wú)數(shù)博客文章了。

????希雷森能夠辭去CEO，只擔(dān)任“正常的全職”副董事長(zhǎng)，確實(shí)令人羨慕，而一位男性CEO能夠提出女性CEO才可能提出的問(wèn)題，則是在為高管創(chuàng)造跨越性別的公平環(huán)境方面，邁出了重要一步。

????“兩全其美”的爭(zhēng)論是時(shí)候超越性別界限了。正如希雷森最后寫(xiě)道，不論男性還是女性，都需要做同樣一道算術(shù)題：

????“這樣做是否會(huì)讓我損失數(shù)千萬(wàn)美元的收入？或許吧。生活充滿(mǎn)了選擇。現(xiàn)在，我選擇用更多時(shí)間來(lái)陪伴家人，我相信，與此同時(shí)，我依舊能夠從事一份有意義、有回報(bào)的工作?！保ㄘ?cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓

????When Today Show host Matt Lauer sat down with General Motors’ CEO Mary Barra in late June, he asked the automaker’s first female leader:

????“You said in an interview not long ago that your kids said they’re going to hold you accountable for one job, and that is being a mom. Given the pressure at General Motors, can you do both well?”

????Barra graciously answered the question, telling Lauer that she has a great team, a wonderful family and a supportive husband. Notably, she didn’t turn that question back on Lauer to ask how he handles his demanding work schedule at NBC and still manages to be a good father.

????Male executives almost never hear that question. MongoDB’s now-former CEO Max Schireson can attest to that.

????The head of the database company decided to step down Tuesday after asking himself how he can balance the dual demands of fatherhood and running a company.

????“As a male CEO, I have been asked what kind of car I drive and what type of music I like, but never how I balance the demands of being both a dad and a CEO,” wrote Schireson in a blog post explaining why he decided to step down as the chief executive for MongoDB.

????Women are still the focus of the “having it all” debate and questions of whether or not they can be wildly successful at both a high-powered job and day-to-day parenting. Now their male counterparts are asking the same question of themselves.

????Schireson, who helped grow the database company into a billion-dollar business, is on pace to fly 300,000 miles this year between the normal CEO travel duties and commuting from his home in Palo Alto, Calif. to the company’s New York City office.

????All that time on the road adds up to many hours and days away from his family, including three kids.

????“During that travel, I have missed a lot of family fun, perhaps, more importantly, I was not with my kids when our puppy was hit by a car, or when my son had (minor and successful, and of course unexpected) emergency surgery.”

????He credits his wife for helping to pick up the slack when he was away. Not an easy task considering her high-pressure role as a doctor and Stanford professor.

????“Friends and colleagues often ask my wife how she balances her job and motherhood,” Schireson wrote. “Somehow, the same people don’t ask me.”

????Questions like these have gnawed at women, who openly debate the value of work and family. Sheryl Sandberg has encouraged women to “l(fā)ean in.” Cover articles in national magazines have delved into the minutiae of making the right choice as a mom and a professional, not to mention the countless blog posts in response to both.

????While it’s enviable that Schireson can step down as CEO to simply work “normal full time” as vice chairman, the fact that a male CEO is asking the same questions that a female CEO might ask is an important step towards leveling the playing field for top executives, regardless of their gender.

????It’s time for the “having it all” debate to move beyond gender. The math is the same, as Schireson concludes, whether you’re male or female:

????“Will that cost me tens of millions of dollars someday? Maybe. Life is about choices. Right now, I choose to spend more time with my family and am confident that I can continue to have an meaningful and rewarding work life while doing so.”