????“年度老板”并非是我要努力爭(zhēng)取的一個(gè)獎(jiǎng)項(xiàng)。說真的。如果我的團(tuán)隊(duì)能安然無恙地度過今年，我一定會(huì)興奮不已。

????去年，我25歲，辭去了在麥肯錫（McKinsey）的分析師工作，創(chuàng)辦了面向年輕職業(yè)女性的社交網(wǎng)絡(luò)Levo League，迫不得已走上了管理崗位。我通過讀書來緩解作為一名新手的恐慌；我讀過大衛(wèi)?格爾曼的《情商》（Emotional Intelligence），書中講到了如何在控制自身情緒的同時(shí)，影響其他人的情緒。Zappos電商網(wǎng)站CEO謝家華的《傳遞快樂》（Delivering Happiness），讓我產(chǎn)生了建立自己公司文化的念頭，我希望公司所有員工能全身心投入工作，為了共同的目標(biāo)而努力。我把自己的想法付諸實(shí)施，結(jié)果很快就陷入僵局，在管理方面大放光芒的夢(mèng)想也被無情擊碎。讀再多的書也成不了管理大師；只有經(jīng)驗(yàn)才最重要。經(jīng)過幾個(gè)月的反復(fù)嘗試之后，我終于明確了自己管理上的優(yōu)先度——比如進(jìn)行困難但至關(guān)重要的對(duì)話，提供有用的反饋，以及幫助其他人解決問題等。

????溝通是關(guān)鍵

????最初，我很難接受團(tuán)隊(duì)成員挑戰(zhàn)我的觀點(diǎn)。我本來期望得到建設(shè)性的反饋，結(jié)果卻讓我非常不爽。于是我的態(tài)度從積極變得易怒：“我沒時(shí)間”或“我不關(guān)心”成了我的口頭語。最后，我意識(shí)到惱人的問題并不代表對(duì)方試圖推翻你的領(lǐng)導(dǎo)；源頭在于缺乏清楚的溝通。與說出問題相比，避免沖突可能引發(fā)更大的問題；最后，我不得不重新考慮自己的溝通策略。

????我認(rèn)識(shí)到透明的重要性。現(xiàn)在，我會(huì)寫“周日鞭策郵件（SKAE）”，郵件中會(huì)列出團(tuán)隊(duì)的總體目標(biāo)，并細(xì)分一周內(nèi)每位員工的責(zé)任。團(tuán)隊(duì)用于理解工作內(nèi)容的時(shí)間大為減少，于是有了更多創(chuàng)意時(shí)間，來開發(fā)后續(xù)項(xiàng)目。

????反饋也要注意方式

????有一天，我壓力滿滿，可一位員工一直問我該把一張桌子搬到哪兒去。我怒不可遏地回了她一句“我才不管你把那張?jiān)撍赖淖雷臃旁谀膬?，”然后繼續(xù)工作。每當(dāng)我回想起當(dāng)時(shí)的表現(xiàn)，都會(huì)打冷顫。我將自己遇到的挫折發(fā)泄到一位完全無辜的團(tuán)隊(duì)成員身上。我認(rèn)識(shí)到時(shí)間、地點(diǎn)和語調(diào)的重要性，尤其是辦公室里的員工大都年輕敏感、精力充沛。未來我會(huì)如何回應(yīng)上述問題？把她叫到一旁，然后跟她說：“我非常希望你能接管這件事，自己決定如何擺放辦公家具。”每家公司都需要完成這些基礎(chǔ)事務(wù)。如果處理得當(dāng)，可以提高下屬的自信，這將有助于他們未來承擔(dān)更大的任務(wù)。

????經(jīng)驗(yàn)豐富的員工可以成為良師

????我的下屬中，有幾位女士比我大五到七歲。如果她們發(fā)現(xiàn)某些方面有問題，通常會(huì)以更令人舒服的方式提出來。她們會(huì)盡量安排一個(gè)時(shí)間來討論問題。她們?cè)谄渌镜慕?jīng)驗(yàn)讓她們了解到溝通和更有針對(duì)性地解決問題的重要性。

????Boss of the Year is not an award I'm vying for. Seriously. I will bethrilled if my team gets through the rest of the year in one piece.

????I left my job as an analyst at McKinsey to start the Levo League last year and, at 25, was thrown into a management position. Books soothed my panic; I poured over David Goleman's Emotional Intelligence, which describes how to influence others' emotions while controlling your own. Zappos CEO Tony Hsieh's Delivering Happiness stirred up fantasies of building a company culture of our own, where employees can bring their whole selves to work and get behind common goals. But putting these ideas into practice stalled, rather quickly, and shattered my dreams of managerial grandeur. Reading 500-some rather educational pages does not make a management guru; nothing compares to experience. My priorities -- having difficult but crucial conversations, giving useful feedback, and helping others solve their problems -- materialized after months of trial and error.

????It's all about talking

????At first, it was tough to have my ideas challenged by team members. What I should have welcomed as constructive feedback instead sent me into a fit. I went from positive to easily irritated: "I don't have time for this" or "I don't care about that" became my go-to responses. I eventually realized pesky questions weren't an attempt at a coup; they stemmed from a lack of clear communication. Evading conflict created much larger issues than talking it out; I was forced to reassess my communication strategy.

????I learned the importance of transparency. I now write Sunday Kick Ass Emails (SKAEs); they outline the team's overall goal and break down each employees' responsibilities for the week. We spend less time trying to understand what needs to get done, freeing up creative time to develop future projects.

????There is such a thing as feedback etiquette

????One stress-filled day, an employee kept asking me where they should move a desk. I bit back, "I don't care where you put the damn desk," and went on with my day. I cringe when I think about that moment. I projected my frustrations on a completely innocent team member. I learned the importance of time, place, and tone -- especially in an office filled with young, energetic, and impressionable employees. My future response? Take her aside and say, "I really want you to take ownership over this and be responsible for deciding where to move the office furniture." Every company has to do these kinds of basic tasks; when handled appropriately, they can give confidence to staffers, which will help them with bigger tasks in the future.

????Experienced employees make great teachers

????I manage several women who are five to seven years older than me. In general, they are much more comfortable with speaking up when they see something going wrong. They push to schedule time to talk through issues. Their experience at other companies has taught them the importance of communication and offensively attacking problems.