????? 限制我每個(gè)月的開銷。如果家里所有的賬單或孩子的開銷全部都由一方來承擔(dān)，而夫妻兩人能夠自由支配的資金已經(jīng)所剩無幾，這時(shí)候這種問題往往會(huì)凸顯出來。哈徹表示，夫妻雙方對(duì)于收入如何分配應(yīng)該達(dá)成某種共識(shí)——比如交通、住宿、食物等各方面的費(fèi)用。這樣做的目的是在每個(gè)月能夠剩下足夠的錢用于儲(chǔ)蓄，同時(shí)讓所有人都有一定的“私房錢”可以自由支配。如果自己不知道如何合理安排開銷，可以要求理財(cái)顧問幫忙制定一份可行的家庭財(cái)務(wù)預(yù)算。

????? 讓我提供每一次購物的收據(jù)。艾倫表示，這種做法不僅涉及權(quán)力和控制，也是“缺乏信任”的表現(xiàn)。它會(huì)在夫妻之間形成一種類似家長與孩子的關(guān)系，而對(duì)于兩個(gè)成年人而言，這是一種不健康的關(guān)系。她表示，在大多數(shù)情況下，這種行為往往意味著夫妻之間存在更大的問題急需解決。“要想找出問題的根源，必須尋求夫妻療法的幫助?！?/p>

????? 不準(zhǔn)我擁有信用卡。如果過去確實(shí)出現(xiàn)過信用管理不當(dāng)?shù)膯栴}，當(dāng)然應(yīng)該予以解決。但這并不妨礙夫妻一方在家庭經(jīng)濟(jì)問題上的發(fā)言權(quán)。更令人擔(dān)憂的是：其他研究顯示，夫妻之間因?yàn)榻?jīng)濟(jì)問題爭吵的頻率越高，離婚的可能性就越大。如果沒有信用記錄，想在離婚之后建立信用就會(huì)是個(gè)很大的難題?？傊?qū)Ψ奖Ｃ茏约旱呢?cái)務(wù)狀況并不是最好的辦法。但沒有人能夠阻止你去申請(qǐng)一張自己的信用卡。

????結(jié)論：如果你感覺自己正在受到欺負(fù)，比如像艾倫所說，出現(xiàn)不足感、自我貶低、糟糕的自我形象或困窘等典型表現(xiàn)，那你應(yīng)該尋求獨(dú)立第三方的幫助，比如治療師或理財(cái)顧問。艾倫建議，即使你的伴侶不愿意陪你一同前往，你也要立刻去主動(dòng)尋求幫助。（財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：劉進(jìn)龍/汪皓???

????? Limits my monthly spending. This often manifests itself when one party is expected to pay all the bills for the household – or the children – and is left with no discretionary money of their own. A couple should have some consensus about how the money coming in is being spent – how much on transportation, housing, food, etc. The purpose of doing that is to have enough left over each month to save, and for each person to have some "play money" to spend, says Hatcher. If you can't figure out how to cover all of these bases on your own, a financial advisor can help you figure out a workable budget.

????? Makes me show receipts for all purchases. This is about "lack of trust" as well as power and control, says Allen. It also sets up a parent/child dynamic between the couple that is unhealthy between two adults. In most cases, she says, this behavior is a symptom of larger problems that need to be addressed. "Couples therapy is definitely needed to get to the root of the problem."

????? Keeps me from having credit cards. If mismanagement of credit has been a problem in the past, it needs to be addressed and dealt with. But it should not keep one spouse from having a say in the family's overall financial life. More worrisome: Other research has shown the more frequently a couple argues about money, the more likely they are to divorce. Trying to establish credit post-divorce without a credit history is a bear. The bottom line: Keeping financial secrets from a spouse isn't the best idea either. But no one can keep you from applying for a credit card on your own.

????Bottom line: If you feel you're being bullied, you likely are – feelings of inadequacy, low self worth, poor self image or embarrassment are hallmarks, says Allen -- and you should seek help from an independent third party like a therapist or financial advisor. Go, says Allen, even if your partner refuses to go with you.