成人小说亚洲一区二区三区,亚洲国产精品一区二区三区,国产精品成人精品久久久,久久综合一区二区三区,精品无码av一区二区,国产一级a毛一级a看免费视频,欧洲uv免费在线区一二区,亚洲国产欧美中日韩成人综合视频,国产熟女一区二区三区五月婷小说,亚洲一区波多野结衣在线

立即打開
Thank you, Mr. Banker, for my overdraft protection!

Thank you, Mr. Banker, for my overdraft protection!

2009年10月13日

????By Stanley Bing

????You know, I think it’s kind of nice how my bank is always thinking of new ways to help me. It’s been like that my whole life. When I was a kid, for instance, my dad took me downtown to the First National Bank, which was right next door to the Alceon Theater, where you could watch two movies for a quarter on Saturday afternoons. I had ten weeks’ allowance in my pocket — five dollars, all in Benjamin Franklin fifty-cent pieces. That’s when “all about the Benjamins” meant something! Anyhow, we gave Mr. Roover, who sat at a desk by the door, my life savings at that point, and he gave me a little blue book that had all my information in it. “Every month,” my dad told me, “the bank is going to add a little bit of money to your account as a way of saying thanks for your deposit. It’s called interest. And it will grow and grow until you have a lot more than you put in.” I thought that was pretty keen, let me tell you. And I still do.

????The years passed, and I got new banks, but each of them did the same kinds of nice things for me. One time, I got a toaster for opening a new account. I think I still may have it someplace. Another time, they let me pick out my very own theme for my checks. I got really cool NASCARs. The interest on my accounts went up and down, depending on the economy, you know, but I know my bank always did its very best to make sure they were adding as much as possible to my nest egg. I appreciated that then, and I do now. I know that someplace, in some office somewhere, there’s always a banker sitting there thinking of new ways to reward his or her customers. That’s just the way they do things, bankers. They’re the salt of the earth.

????Which brings us to this year, when it came to my attention that my bank has been doing something secret to help me for quite some time. See, I have a debit card, mostly because I can’t be trusted with a credit card. Oh, I pay my bills and all, but sometimes it’s tough to remember about that, what with all that’s going on every day, and anyway I have a tendency to whip out my plastic all the time instead of using the perfectly good cash I might have in my pocket. So the bills go up up up, and I’m spending somebody else’s money, basically. So I use debit. I always have enough in my bank account to cover my spending, of course, so there’s no problem with that, but when I use that card I don’t owe anybody anything, and I like that a lot. Whatever smart banker thought that up was really using his noggin.

????Anyway, there was obviously some other banker somewhere who was also thinking about new ways to make my life safer and easier, and he thought to himself, I guess, “Hey, what if that Mr. Bing who’s been such a good customer for so long, were to make a mistake and plop down his plastic when he didn’t have enough green in the machine? True, he’s never done that, but what if he did?” And so that banker, from the goodness of his heart, I think, went to his boss, who went to his boss, who went to his boss, and pretty soon they gave me something even better than a toaster! It’s called “overdraft protection,” and I never even knew I had it at all until I started reading the papers the last couple of weeks. What a great concept! I love it! No matter what you spend with your debit card, no matter how absent-minded or confused you might be, even if you have no money at all in your account, the nice bank will make sure that you’re not embarrassed. They’ll pay your tab! I don’t know about you, but that makes me feel all warm and toasty.

????And I think it’s mighty nice that they sprung it on me as a surprise, too. I love surprises, especially when it has to do with my money.

????Now, you read a lot about how people are upset about this thing, but I just don’t get it. Take my friend Patty. She went to the Starbucks the other day and got a chai latte. Lord knows why she drinks that stuff, it tastes like waste water to me, but she likes it and is willing to pay almost $5 for it. Anyway, it seems like she can’t stand to spend any cash, either, because she puts down her debit card to pay for that little sum and then goes out and enjoys her latte, not knowing that she didn’t have the dough in her poke to cover it.

????In the old days, she would have had the terrible experience of having this pimply faced kid behind the counter say to her, “Your card is declined, you deadbeat fool.” But not these days! Why? Because Mr. Banker was on the case and had covered her with this overdraft protection, too! Now, does she say thanks? Is she grateful? No way. It seems that a couple of weeks later she got her bank statement and discovered that the bank had charged her a little processing fee for the protection it had provided to her without her even asking for it. Hey! Everybody’s got a cost of doing business, don’t they? I can see she might have wondered why her latte now cost her $34 once that little fee had been assessed. But really. What price can you put on the nice thing that the bank had done? I’d say it’s priceless.

????Even better — Mr. Banker and his friends have now listened to ungrateful people like Patty and are implementing their own new rules. They’re promising not to charge that fee to rampant overspenders more than four times in one day. I think that’s very gracious, too, don’t you? I wonder what new things they’ll think of next to help and protect us. One thing’s for sure. I know they’re thinking of something.

掃碼打開財(cái)富Plus App
尤物蜜芽视频在线观看国产| 精品一区二区三区中文字幕| 国产人伦视频乱码一区二区三区| 亚洲欧美精品mp4| 亚洲第一AAAAA片| 亚洲日本va午夜在线电影| 日本久久久久久久中文人妻| 欧美成aⅴ人高清免费| 无码AV免费一区二区三区试看| 亚洲精品熟女国产久久国产| 亚洲日韩精品一区二区二三区四区| 国产尤物在线观看不卡| 最新亚洲卡一卡二卡三新区| 国产亚洲欧洲997久久综合| 精品久久久久久无码中文字幕漫画| 91精品人妻色诱久久av| 放荡的小峓子2中文字幕| AV无码片一区二区三区| 最新国产AV无码专区亚洲AVn| 国产伦精品一区二区三区妓女| 一个人的BD国语高清在线观看| 国产精品免码视频二三区| 欧美一区二区三区在线播放| 一级a一级a免费观看视频| 天天爽夜夜爽人人爽一区二区| mide453在线观看中文字幕| 爆乳美女午夜福利视频| 国产免费看av高清不卡| 精品久久久久中文字幕日本| 太粗要好深好爽要到了| 日韩中文字幕无码精品视频| 欧美日本一区二区欧美专区一区| 大学生高潮无套内谢视频| 欧美日韩国产综合视频在线看| 亚洲综合色成在线播放| 一区香蕉视频亚洲毛片免费一级| 无码人妻一区二区三区免费视频| 久久精品aⅴ无码中文字字幕| 精东传媒2024精品密友| 国产国语毛片在线看国产| 青青草原精品国产亚洲AV|