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專欄 - 向Anne提問

怎樣點(diǎn)醒愛聊私生活的同事

Anne Fisher 2013年09月02日

Anne Fisher為《財(cái)富》雜志《向Anne提問》的專欄作者,這個(gè)職場專欄始于1996年,幫助讀者適應(yīng)經(jīng)濟(jì)的興衰起落、行業(yè)轉(zhuǎn)換,以及工作中面臨的各種困惑。
在工作場所分享一點(diǎn)私生活無傷大雅(或許還很有必要),因?yàn)樗梢栽鰪?qiáng)團(tuán)隊(duì)的凝聚力,但是一定要注意把握限度,不然不僅會(huì)危及你的職業(yè)形象,甚至可能讓你遭到同事的排擠。遇到這樣的話癆同事,怎么能夠提醒她注意這個(gè)問題而又不傷和氣呢?

????帕切特的第二條法則是,“切記,永遠(yuǎn)不要給人留下把柄。不光彩的事情尤其說不得。”在擔(dān)任顧問期間,帕切特總是驚訝地發(fā)現(xiàn),一些匪夷所思的事情也會(huì)有人拿來跟同事吹噓?!笆聦?shí)上還有人覺得,這種事情說出去會(huì)顯得自己很高明——比方說店員找多了的零錢,自己一聲不響地收下,”她說。“人們往往根本就沒有意識(shí)到,自己說出去的話會(huì)給同事造成什么樣的印象——有些人純粹就是話太多,就這么回事?!?/p>

????這就回到了你所面臨的兩難選擇——究竟應(yīng)不應(yīng)該提醒同事?!澳惚仨氄f出來,讓她知道”自己的行為在辦公室成了眾矢之的,帕切特表示,“換做是你在辦公室里做了什么事情讓同事不齒,乃至避免和你打交道,你也會(huì)希望有人能提醒你吧?”

????假設(shè)你希望是這樣。“那么你可以先從這里著手。問一問那個(gè)同事,看她想不想聽一些反饋,解釋一下?lián)Q做是你,也希望有人能提醒自己。然后告訴她,在辦公室里沒完沒了地聊私生活有損她的專業(yè)形象,建議她把度假照片收起來,少談一點(diǎn)家庭生活。”

????你也承認(rèn)自己的同事聰明能干,可以把這一點(diǎn)跟她說明,告訴她,你不希望這種小習(xí)慣挫傷她的積極性。這樣做或許可以緩和你對(duì)她的批評(píng)語氣?!案嬖V她,你在乎她的名聲,”邁克爾?克羅姆?!斑€可以指出,其他同事一般都只在午飯或休息時(shí)間談?wù)撍绞??!薄夷愕睦习逅坪跻蚕矚g這么做。祝你好運(yùn)。

????讀者反饋:你有沒有遇到過太愛聊個(gè)人私生活的同事?你覺得職場話嘮是不是越來越常見?歡迎留言評(píng)論。(財(cái)富中文網(wǎng))

????譯者:Nasca?

????And second, she says, "Never, ever share anything that could be used against you later. Especially, don't talk about any situation where you may have acted less than ethically." In her consulting work, Pachter is frequently amazed at some of the things people brag to coworkers about. "There are people who actually believe it makes them look clever if they reveal that, for instance, a store clerk gave them too much change and they took it without saying anything," she says. "Often, people just don't realize how they're coming across to colleagues -- and some people just talk too much, period."

????Which brings us back to your dilemma with your teammate. "You must speak up and let her know" that her behavior is making her persona non grata around the office, Pachter says: "If the situation were reversed and you were doing something that was making people roll their eyes and try to avoid you, wouldn't you want someone to warn you?"

????Assuming you would, "start with that. Ask this coworker if she's open to some feedback, and explain that you'd want to hear this if you were in her place. Then describe the effect that her constant personal talk is having on her credibility as a professional, and suggest she put away the vacation photos and talk less about her home life."

????It might help to cushion the criticism by stressing that you do, as you note, regard her as bright and capable and you'd hate to see this one quirk hold her back. "Say you're concerned about her reputation," Michael Crom advises. "You could point out that the rest of your colleagues tend to reserve most of their personal talk for lunch hours and other break times" —-- and that your boss seems to prefer that. Good luck.

????Talkback:Have you ever worked with someone who talked too much about her life outside work? Do you think the tendency toward TMI is spreading? Leave a comment below.

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