????MPW內部網絡是一個邀請最有影響力的商界女性及時解答職業(yè)與領導力問題的在線社區(qū)。本周，我們的問題是：成功女性如何應對拒絕？以下是Vital Voices Global Partnership公司CEO兼聯(lián)合創(chuàng)始人阿里斯?尼爾森的回答。

????我認識的每一位領導者都遭遇過挫折。成功的領導者往往因挫折而變得更加強大，而不是一蹶不振。事實上，阻礙我們前進的并非拒絕或失敗，而是我們應對它們的方式。歸根結底，面對困難我們選擇做什么，將決定我們能否挖掘自身潛力以收獲成功。數(shù)年前，我聽過阿里安娜?郝芬頓這樣說：“失敗并非成功的對立面；失敗是成功的墊腳石?！蔽覍Υ松钚挪灰?。

????18年來，我接觸過許多優(yōu)秀的女性領導者，她們總是能夠實現(xiàn)自己的目標，因為她們拒絕放棄。最重要的并不是失敗，而是我們在失敗之后如何振作起來，如何從失敗中總結經驗教訓。面對失敗時，每個人都應該做兩件事：從失敗中學習，繼續(xù)前進。真正的領導者擁有堅定的意志，時時刻刻都在追逐自己的事業(yè)目標。她們的力量源于自我意識。我們必須對自己的優(yōu)點與缺點保持謙遜，然后選擇向著明確的目標前進。

????我相信大多數(shù)人并非天生領導者，她們之所以能夠成功，源自她們的經驗與機遇。失敗是其中的關鍵部分。失敗堅定了我們的決心，幫助我們樹立篤信不移的信念。如果你不清楚自己為什么要成為領導者，你就不可能當好領導者——因為你沒有明確的、不可動搖的目標。有時候，我們只有在經受過考驗之后才會意識到這個目標。當我們遭遇失敗的時候，我們才會找到未來的方向，才會懂得我們如何抵達最終的目的地，以及我們最初為什么開始。

????根據(jù)我自己的經驗，失敗讓我對自己的領導力、驅動力和我自己產生了非常有價值的見解。個人發(fā)展是一個艱難且來之不易的過程，但最終的結果值得你為之付出。四年前，我有幸在仰光見到了緬甸民盟領導人昂山素季。她當時剛剛從20年的非法軟禁中被釋放出來。那次會面讓我終生難忘，我知道，那短短的幾個小時將成為我一生中最離奇、最有啟發(fā)的一次經歷。

????在領導民主運動的過程中，如果為了追求民主理想需要以自己的聲音、自由或安全為代價，昂山素季從來都不會猶豫。她承擔著巨大的風險，要忍受迫害和無數(shù)次失敗。但在她看來，與保護公平、民主與正義這些價值相比，這些失敗根本不值一提。她的目光超越了失敗的風險，因為她一心一意地專注于緬甸的未來，不會讓任何事妨礙她實現(xiàn)自己的目標，或動搖她的信念。

????我曾將她對我說過的話分享給許多與我共事的女同胞。她說：“不論前行的道路多么艱難，良好的心愿與優(yōu)秀的領導力之間的區(qū)別就在于堅持到底的勇氣與承諾。”我認為這是她向所有人傳達出的一條信息，尤其是在面對拒絕的時候。領導者不會屈從于失敗，他們會努力克服它。別人看到問題的時候，他們卻會看到希望。他們之所以堅持不懈地帶領人們前進，是因為他們下定決心，要讓他們想象的世界在未來某一天變成現(xiàn)實。（財富中文網）

????譯者：劉進龍/汪皓

????審校：任文科

????MPW Insider is an online community where the biggest names in business and beyond answer timely career and leadership questions. Today’s answer for: How should every successful woman deal with rejection? is written by Alyse Nelson, CEO and co-founder of Vital Voices Global Partnership.

????Every leader I know has a story of a setback. Leaders are defined – not defeated – by setbacks. The truth is, it’s not rejection or failure that holds us back, it’s the way we choose to respond. And ultimately, it’s what we choose to do in a tough situation that enables us to realize our potential to succeed. A few years ago I heard Arianna Huffington say, “Failure is not the opposite of success; it’s a stepping stone tosuccess.”And I couldn’t agree more.

????For 18 years, I’ve worked with exceptional women leaders who have been able to achieve their goals because they refuse to give up. What matters most is not the act of failing, but how we pick ourselves up after we get knocked down — the lessons we take away. There are two things everyone should do when faced with failure: learn from it and keep going. True leaders are determined. They’re cause-driven. Their power is rooted in self-awareness. We have to be humble about our strengths and weaknesses, and then choose to move forward with clarity of purpose.

????I believe that most leaders are not born, they’re made from experience and opportunity. Failure is a key part of this. Failures strengthen our resolve and help us cultivate a deeply held conviction. You can’t be a leader without knowing why you’re leading – without a defined and unshakeable sense of purpose. Sometimes we realize this purpose only after being tested. When we fail, we gain perspective about where we’re going, how we’re going to get there, and why we began in the first place.

????In my own experience, the times I’ve been knocked down have given me invaluable insight –about my leadership, my driving force, and myself. Personal development is hard-fought and hard-won – but it’s worth it. Four years ago, I had the rare privilege of meeting with Burmese pro-democracy leader Aung San Suu Kyi in Rangoon. She had just been released from unjust house arrest that had lasted 20 years. It’s an experience that’s stayed with me, and I know I will always look back on those few hours as one of the most surreal and inspiring experiences of my life.

????Throughout a lifetime of leadership, Aung San Suu Kyi has never hesitated to stake her voice, her freedom or her safety to preserve an ideal. She has taken enormous risks, endured persecution and countless setbacks. But these don’t compare to the worth she sees in protecting values of equality, democracy, and justice. She chooses to see beyond the risk of failure because she is intently focused on her vision for Burma and lets nothing deter her sense of purpose or rob her conviction.

????She told me something that I’ve shared with so many of the women we work with. She said, “the difference between good intentions and great leadership is the courage and commitment to stay the course, no matter how difficult the path.” I think it’s a message for all of us, especially when we think about rejection. Leaders don’t give in to failure, they rise above it. They see promise where others see problems. They lead – relentlessly – because they’re determined to someday live in the world they imagine.