????就憑我在這網(wǎng)站的片刻逗留，我就能看出在這上面花錢有多容易。實(shí)際上，盡管我的賬戶沒有提供個(gè)人信息或照片鏈接，在一個(gè)多月里我還是收到了176條信息，里面充斥下面這類句子，如18歲的艾麗莎發(fā)來“我就夢(mèng)想找個(gè)溫柔體貼的男人”，21歲的伊蓮娜發(fā)來“我得承認(rèn)，你的照片吸引了我的目光”。而要回復(fù)這些信息，每條要花10個(gè)積分。

????在國(guó)際相親網(wǎng)站上找新娘實(shí)在代價(jià)不菲，這引起了一些維護(hù)婦女權(quán)益者的重視。塔希莉司法中心（Tahirih Justice Center）公共政策總監(jiān)珍妮?斯穆特表示，男性在這類服務(wù)上大把花錢會(huì)讓他們產(chǎn)生更高的期望值。她說：“現(xiàn)在有人擔(dān)心，有些人似乎覺得他們有權(quán)利享有這種討價(jià)還價(jià)帶來的好處?！边@種方式使女性變得商品化也是個(gè)問題，在這類網(wǎng)站上，女性似乎就是一種商品，款式眾多，類型各異。另外還有人擔(dān)憂，通過這類服務(wù)嫁到異國(guó)的女性會(huì)尤其容易遭到虐待。

????大多數(shù)網(wǎng)絡(luò)聊天都不會(huì)走到線下，但一旦在線國(guó)際相親離開了虛擬領(lǐng)域，就可能存在真正的安全隱患。去年就有一個(gè)德克薩斯的男子謀劃要綁架并殺害他在網(wǎng)上碰到的一個(gè)女人。這個(gè)行業(yè)里家庭暴力的案例更是不絕于耳。2005年還出現(xiàn)了起氣焰囂張的殺人案，專門謀殺外國(guó)新娘，促使聯(lián)邦通過立法保護(hù)那些經(jīng)由國(guó)際婚姻中介嫁到美國(guó)的女性。

????這項(xiàng)名為《國(guó)際婚姻中介管制法》（International Marriage Broker Regulation Act）的法案剛出臺(tái)時(shí)遭到了國(guó)際相親公司的激烈反對(duì)。布魯克斯稱，現(xiàn)在對(duì)它的接受度高多了。他說：“現(xiàn)在這個(gè)行業(yè)已學(xué)會(huì)理解這項(xiàng)法案了。這個(gè)法案設(shè)計(jì)的宗旨就是要讓國(guó)際相親網(wǎng)站的女性會(huì)員感到非常放心和安全，而這對(duì)我們來說當(dāng)然是頭等重要的事情。”這項(xiàng)法案要求這類公司必須對(duì)會(huì)員進(jìn)行背景調(diào)查，同時(shí)向外來新娘充分告知她們所享有的權(quán)利。不過，支持這項(xiàng)法案的人稱，它的執(zhí)行有時(shí)并不到位。

????跟我聊過一會(huì)兒的這位安娜塔西雅表示，她與男性見面時(shí)總會(huì)把安全放在第一位。她還確認(rèn)，AnastasiaDate的翻譯人員當(dāng)時(shí)在場(chǎng)。這家公司會(huì)提供各種服務(wù)，讓男性了解國(guó)外情況，讓女性感覺更加安心。安娜塔西雅已經(jīng)通過這個(gè)渠道見過兩個(gè)人了。我問她這種見面是否有意思。她一疊聲地說：“恰恰相反。糟透了?！逼渲幸粋€(gè)男人好像對(duì)她毫無興趣（他像是半死不活的）。另一個(gè)則認(rèn)為她是個(gè)妓女。她說她覺得這些男人可能已有了根深蒂固的想法：一大群年輕姑娘在討少量男性的歡心。她寫道：“這個(gè)網(wǎng)站會(huì)展示男性不那么正面的形象?！?/p>

????不過安娜塔西雅并沒有氣餒。她還是在AnastasiaDate.com上鍥而不舍地追尋著，因?yàn)樗业阶约旱恼鎼邸@跟我們多數(shù)人何其相似。當(dāng)我問她，到底想從網(wǎng)上找到一個(gè)什么樣的人時(shí)，她的回答和所有人——不管哪個(gè)國(guó)家，不管男女——幾乎如出一轍：“我希望找到一個(gè)值得共度一生的人。”希望她夢(mèng)想成真。（財(cái)富中文網(wǎng)）

????譯者：清遠(yuǎn)

????During my brief time on the site, I could see how it might be easy to spend. In fact, despite the absence of a profile or photo linked to my account, I still racked up 176 messages in a little over a month with letters full of phrases like "I dream to find a man who is tender and caring," from 18-year-old Alisa or "I'd like to confess that your photo caught my eye," from 21-year-old Irina. Responding costs 10 credits each.

????The sheer costliness of courting a bride on international dating sites makes some women's rights advocates wary. Jeanne Smoot, the director of public policy for the Tahirih Justice Center, says that having spent large amounts on the courtship can leave men with a sense of expectation. "There is a concern there, about someone who feels that they're entitled to the benefit of their bargain," Smoot says. The commodification of women is a concern, with sites that offer so many options and such variety. And there are also worries that women who travel to a new country through such services will be particularly vulnerable to abuse.

????Though most conversations will end online, when international online dating leaves the realm of the virtual, there can be real safety risks. Last year a Texas man plotted to kidnap and kill a women he had met on a website. Examples of domestic violence cases in the industry abound. A pair of high-profile murders of foreign brides prompted the enactment of federal legislation in 2005 to protect women brought to the U.S. via international marriage brokers.

????That statute, called the International Marriage Broker Regulation Act, met with vehement opposition from the international dating companies when it was introduced. Now, Brooks says, it gets a warmer reception. "The industry has grown to appreciate it," he says. "It was designed to provide a very high level of comfort and safety to female members of international dating sites, which is, of course, of utmost importance to us." The law mandates that agencies perform background checks and provide immigrant women with information about their rights. However, proponents say the laws' enforcement is sometimes lacking.

????Anastasia, who I chatted with for a while, says she keeps safety in mind when she meets men in person. She makes sure that AnastasiaDate translators are present. The company provides a variety of services to both acquaint the man with a foreign country and to make the women feel more comfortable. Anastasia has met two men this way. I asked if it was fun. "Quite the opposite," she wrote. "It was awful." One man didn't act interested. ("He seemed semi-alive.") The other assumed she was a prostitute. She said she thought the odds -- so many young women vying for so little male attention -- had gone to their heads. The site "tends to show men from not such a bright side," she wrote.

????Still, Anastasia is undeterred. She's sticking with AnastasiaDate.com, she says, because she's searching for her one true love -- like a lot of the rest of us. When I asked her what she wanted from the site, her answer could have come from anyone, male or female, in any country: "I hope to find someone worthy to be with." Here's hoping that's what she finds.